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Post new topic A Modest Proposal
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Author Topic:  A Modest Proposal
Bill McCloskey

 

Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 12:39 pm    
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I believe I have a solution to all the controversy we’ve had here lately.

A committee should be formed to set the exact number of strings allowed on a lap steel guitar. Once that string number is determined, all steel manufacturers must adhere, or be denied the right to label their instrument as a lap steel. In that case, it must be called a lap hurdy-gurdy.

An exact tuning will be agreed upon, voted on, and enforced: forcibly if necessary. Specific scale length and string gauges will be standardized.

A set of 10 tunes will form the steel guitar canon. 3 Hawaiian, 3 Western Swing, 3 Country, and one Blues/Rock/Alternative. A Sacred Steel tune will be allowed to be played every leap year.

These will be the only tunes that will be allowed for performance. Every player must be certified on each tune before they will be given Performance Certificate. Strict adherence to form, tempo, and key will be expected and required. Individuality is discouraged.

Players will be ranked by team of 3 who will set World-Wide Ranking system. Only the top 10 players will be allowed to record or talk with the press. All interviews must be reviewed by the central committee to make sure the steel community is on point and on message.

Together we can unite our instrument under a common banner and mission. The future is ours.
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Matt Lange

 

From:
Wisconsin, USA
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 12:47 pm    
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i vote that the "blues/rock/alternative" song be "Smoke on the water." you know, just to keep thinks simple
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Jude Reinhardt


From:
Weaverville, NC
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:19 pm    
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If you can play Faded Love, I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry and Harbor Lights on a six-string tuned to C6 why play anthing else?
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P Gleespen


From:
Toledo, OH USA
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:21 pm    
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Oh, I thought we were talking about eatin' children. Never mind.
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Bill McCloskey

 

Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:39 pm    
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You're too swift for me Gleespen.
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Ron Bednar


From:
Rancho Cordova, California, USA
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:41 pm    
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Yeah and no left handed players allowed...except maybe...naw, him neither.
And no whinny G tuned reso's either...
Hey, who's that guy in the back with the Weissenborn?...Get him outta here!
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Bill McCloskey

 

Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:43 pm    
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Robert Randolph will, of course, agree to disavow any connection between whatever the heck he does and the steel guitar.
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John Rosett


From:
Missoula, MT
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:43 pm    
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ten tunes?!?!?
i guess i better go practice......
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Gerald Ross


From:
Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:49 pm    
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Another rule and protocol:

If a person publicly states that they like the color red you must quickly counteract with statements emphatically stating the superior qualities of the color blue.

You must then insult the red person's intelligence, religious beliefs, spouse's physical appearance, child’s SAT scores, state of residence and sandwich preferences.

If the red person is from a country other than the USA, feel free to insult anything about them.

You must then back up your statements with quotes from the "famous" people you personally know, have played gigs with and hung out at their homes. Refer to these famous people by their initials or just their first name.

Wait two hours. Then post a retraction.

Better yet, delete your post.


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Gerald Ross
'Northwest Ann Arbor, Michigan's King Of The Hawaiian Steel Guitar'



CEO, CIO, CFO - UkeTone Records
Gerald's Fingerstyle Guitar Website
Board of Directors Hawaiian Steel Guitar Association

[This message was edited by Gerald Ross on 22 February 2006 at 02:29 PM.]

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Steinar Gregertsen


From:
Arendal, Norway, R.I.P.
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 1:53 pm    
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And of course, as soon as the correct number of strings and a universal tuning has been determined once and for all, we will need to look into those nasty little steel bars and set a standard...

No-Nose or Flat-Nose? Bullet or Pellet? Straight or Pre-Slanted? The possibilities are plenty..

Steinar



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www.gregertsen.com


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Brad Bechtel


From:
San Francisco, CA
Post  Posted 22 Feb 2006 2:28 pm    
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Sorry, folks. This topic has nothing to do with non pedal steel guitars, and is far more appropriate in the Feedback section. Moved to Feedback from No Peddlers.

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Brad's Page of Steel
A web site devoted to acoustic & electric lap steel guitars

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