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Topic: World's Best Excuses |
Alan Brookes
From:
Brummy living in Southern California
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 5:48 pm |
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I'll start this one off..................
This instrument is way out of tune, and somebody has been messing about with the pedals. I usually play perfectly in tune.
My bar has scratches all over it, and it throws me right out.
I can't play in front of an audiance because I have very big feet.
I hurt my legs playing rugby and I can't use the pedals any more.
The rest of the band is out of key.
What key was that, anyway ? I haven't figured it out yet. |
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Henry Nagle
From:
Santa Rosa, California
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 6:20 pm
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| I had to get drunk because this place is scary. |
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Mark Edwards
From:
Weatherford,Texas, USA
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 6:22 pm
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| I've only been playing steel for a couple of years |
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basilh
From:
United Kingdom
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 7:08 pm
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Or :-
"Ars longa, vita brevis, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile."
'it takes a long time to acquire and perfect one's expertise and one has but a short time in which to do it'. |
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A. J. Schobert
From:
Cincinnati, Ohio,
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 7:45 pm
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| Its to heavey |
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Mike Perlowin
From:
Los Angeles CA
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Shannon Cooke
From:
Tennessee, USA
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 8:04 pm
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| The sun was in my eyes! |
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Bob Tuttle
From:
Republic, MO 65738
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 8:20 pm
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| The guitar player turned one of my tuning keys.......and he won't tell me which one. |
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A. J. Schobert
From:
Cincinnati, Ohio,
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 8:25 pm
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| "Get the drunk barmaid off my guitar" |
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David Doggett
From:
Bawl'mer, MD (formerly of MS, Nawluns, Gnashville, Knocksville, Lost Angeles, Bahsten. and Philly)
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 8:43 pm
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Everybody is playing too loud - I can't hear myself.
Coming in from outside, the temperature change put me out of tune.
This band doesn't play the kind of music I like.
I don't know the songs this group plays, and haven't rehearsed enough with them.
My amp doesn't sound like it does at home. I can't get the EQ right for my tone.
This guitar's too old and clunky - I can't get it to play right.
This guitar is too new and lightweight - I can't get the vintage tone I am use to.
This is a 12" speaker - I need a 15."
This is a 15" speaker - I need 12s.
This is a solid state amp - I'm use to tube tone.
This is a tube amp - I'm use to a solid state with more clean headroom.
The sound guy doesn't know what steel should sound like - he's ruining my tone.
Should I keep going? I got a million of these.  |
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Bob Hoffnar
From:
Austin, Tx
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Posted 13 Feb 2007 10:24 pm
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Whenever I screw up I just shoot a nasty look over at the bass player. They rarely notice anything so its a great system.
_________________
Bob |
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Chuck Hall
From:
Warner Robins, Ga, USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 1:38 am
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I smile every time I make a mistake, that's why I laugh the whole time I play.
Sorry guys, I was just following the girl singer, she led me out there.
It was in tune when I bought it.
You mean Bb isn't the third line down from the end with the little turning thingies on it?
_________________
Chuck
MCI D10 8/4 Nashville 400 and a Profex. |
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basilh
From:
United Kingdom
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 2:15 am
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| I thought Bb was an intonation instruction !! |
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CrowBear Schmitt
From:
Ariege, - PairO'knees, - France
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 2:53 am
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my wife done took off
she took the kids
the car
& the $$$ in the cookie jar
man i feel terrible - bear w: me will ya'
Thanx |
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George McLellan
From:
Duluth, MN USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 3:46 am excuses
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When Bill Rudolph built my "Willy" he didn't put in the high speed mode that he put in Albert Svenddalls. 
Geo |
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Charlie McDonald
From:
out of the blue
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 5:36 am
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I'm a lot better than this, but the rest of the band is bringing me down, man.
_________________
Those that say don't know; those that know don't say.--Buddy Emmons |
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David L. Donald
From:
Koh Samui Island, Thailand
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 5:45 am
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The electricity is so dodgy on this island it dropped
from 220v to 164v, and my amp doesn't like it.
Plus it's messing with my tuner.
3 Finger Pete is glaring at me HARD...
He said it sounds too much like a church??? (true one)
That would make ANYONE play worse.
_________________
DLD, Chili farmer. Plus bananas and papaya too.
Real happiness has no strings attached.
But pedal steels have many! |
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Carl Williams
From:
Oklahoma
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 6:07 am
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The smoke was too thick to see what I was doing... 
I'm sorry, but I asked if ya'll were in tune...shoulda took my E's when I offered them 
Last edited by Carl Williams on 14 Feb 2007 6:11 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Jim Sliff
From:
Lawndale California, USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 6:10 am
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| Quote: |
| whenever I screw up I just shoot a nasty look over at the bass player. They rarely notice anything so its a great system. |
Me too! Our whole bluegrass band adopted that years ago and it always worked. Been using it ever since...well I would if I ever made mistakes.
_________________
No chops, but great tone
1930's/40's Rickenbacher/Rickenbacker 6&8 string lap steels
1921 Weissenborn Style 2; Hilo&Schireson hollownecks
Appalachian, Regal & Dobro squarenecks
1959 Fender 400 9+2 B6;1960's Fender 800 3+3+2; 1948 Fender Dual-8 Professional |
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Papa Joe Pollick
From:
Swanton, Ohio
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 7:10 am
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 I slap my hand when I screw up.Baaaaad hand. |
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Carroll Hale
From:
EastTexas, USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 7:13 am
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excuses are like hineyholes..............
every body has one.........
and they all stink.........  |
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Dick Wood
From:
Springtown Texas, USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 7:25 am
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| I don't feel good. |
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Darvin Willhoite
From:
Roxton, Tx. USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 8:32 am
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I used this one last Sunday. "I couldn't hear the drummer click off". I missed the first two notes of my intro. Really, I just wasn't paying attention. It's just easier to blame the drummer.
_________________
Darvin Willhoite
MSA Millennium, Legend, and Studio Pro, Reese's restored Universal Direction guitar, a restored MSA Classic SS, several amps, new and old, and a Kemper Powerhead that I am really liking. Also a Zum D10, a Mullen RP, and a restored Rose S10, named the "Blue Bird". Also, I have acquired and restored the plexiglass D10 MSA Classic that was built as a demo in the early '70s. I also have a '74 lacquer P/P, with wood necks, and a showroom condition Sho-Bud Super Pro. |
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David Fields
From:
South Carolina, USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 9:19 am Re: World's Best Excuses
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The dog ate my picks!
I have a bone in my leg!
What are those pedals doing down there?
I don't need to turn up louder, I can hear it just fine!
It sounded good when I was practicing it at home! |
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John Cox
From:
Texas, USA
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Posted 14 Feb 2007 9:37 am Best excuses
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My guitar doesn't play that stuff.
I have "Big E" syndrome.
My bar is too cold.
I have stupid fingeritist.
Couldn't see the frets.
What! you can tune this thing?
J.C. |
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