Just Venting!

Kirk P Dighton · From: Troy Mills, Iowa

How many of you players have grown tired of those irritating people that pay $7.00 at the door to dance to your band and act like they "own" you for the night? Now, I was raised by my musician father to play for the crowd and to do your best to pleae them by their requests, however, he never took any "guff" from anyone who complained either about loudness or selection of music. He was pretty hard headed and still is for that matter, but a crowd pleaser all the same. Dad also told me of a famous guy in the Iowa dance band fame known as "Tiny Hill" who gave him some advice about those irritating people at dances. He said "You can be working in your office and have one fly bothering you, pretty soon it seems like there are thousands of flies. But there is only one. In a sense, a majority of the crowd is enjoying the heck out of what you are doing, but one or two out of 200 are complaining. Ignore them. I have even walked over to them and given them their money back. I am just blowing steam, but it gets a little tiresome at times. Any thoughts? Whew! I feel better.

richard burton · From: Britain

Hey !!
I was at one of your gigs not long ago !

Can you send me $7 ??

Kirk P Dighton · From: Troy Mills, Iowa

Sure Richard. Send me your proof of purchase!

Bill Ford · From: Graniteville SC Aiken

Been there, done that.

Bill

Jim Eaton · From: Santa Susana, Ca

Here's a little trick I have used in the past that seems to take care of "those" folks just fine.
No matter what artist they request a song by tell them "sure", then announce the next song on your set list by saying "we had a request for some (put artist name here) and were going to do a song that he did on his 1st greatest hits album". Then just play what ever you were going to play next!
They don't ever seem to catch on and the beat go's on!
JE:-)>

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Emmons D10 8/4 P/P -75'
Fessenden SD-10 3/5
Zum SD-12 7/5 - 91'
76'Session 400
86'Nashville 400

John Ummel · From: Arlington, WA.

I'm not sure I'd advise this but, a drummer I used to work with had a way to shut em up. When there was a heckler in the crowd, he would say, "Hey buddy, do you have hemmoroids?" When the answer was "No"...he would then remark, "That's what I thought, perfect a**hole"...
Like I said I don't recommend it, but it was funny, since most didn't have a come back.

Ken Williams · From: Arkansas

A couple things always frustrate me. You spend hours practicing a special arrangement on a "knocked-out" song. Then you preform it flawlessly and someone walks up immediately afterwards and says "Ya'll play something good".
Many times over the years I've seen people walk up in front of the bandstand in the middle of song while the guitar player is singing, and motion for the singer to lean down so they can request a song or tell them something. I suppose they think he is going to stop singing right in the middle of the song, leave the mic and walk over to see what they want.

Ken

Stu Schulman · From: Ulster Park New Yawk (deceased)

An Aluminum baseball bat,I am grumpy... most of the people that come to see my band stay away from me.The guys in my band laugh their heads off when someone comes up to me and tries to blow me crap.My doctor is trying to get me some meds that will make me more of a "people person"

Donny Hinson · From: Glen Burnie, Md. U.S.A.

David L. Donald · From: Koh Samui Island, Thailand

Happened to us 2 weeks ago.
Got hired by "Oscar" though "Lee", to play a small seaside club for a party,
for Oscar's resort tenants. Both very nice people.

We it seems this Dutch woman and her German husband staying in a cabana,
thought the party was ONLY for them,
not the other people there also.
It was her birthday, it MUST be perfect for her etc.
Yes they were chipping in, but not the only ones doing it.
She was a pretty bloind, and he was totally P. whipped apparantly...

So we start to play, we are playing and singing quite well too,
but then the multiple requsts for Dolly Parton songs started...
Well we do like Dolly, I especially like her bluegrass turn lately.

But NONE of us is a 5'4" colorature soprano,
and we aren't a country or bluegrass band,
even if we do some country stuff too.

Finally this woman is literally in our face,
nose 3 inches from the lead singer's mic cable plug
demanding we play Dolly Parton or Clapton's Cocaine.
At the top of the A-list of WAY over played songs here abouts...
that we pointedly DON'T do.

We did 3 other classic Clapton tunes when Cocaine was mentioned,
but to no avail.
about 20 times he'd said;
"I'm sorry but we don't know / can't play Dolly's music".
We were having problems starting songs,
because she would come up again
with the same inane request, and stand
RIGHT IN FRONT of the singer... like 7 inches...

Finally our singer, a very calm person, said "I need a break..."
and went to sit down.
The woman was incensed that he walked away from her,
and her husbands badgering,
all of the 4 feet from the mic to his bar stool...
.
He needed to calm down before saying something rude.
Simple as that.
Next thing the husband comes up and starts lecturing us on
how "rude we have been to his wife".

Saying we have never apologised and don't listen.
Of course the words : "We're sorry, but.." had crossed our lips
20 or more times in the previous 30 minutes...

VERY magnanamously Rick says;
"Oh, we are sorry ,we can't make her happy with our song selections."
Immediately the guys says we didn't apologize and don't listen.

"We'll pay you to go away, just leave!..."

We are of course flabergasted,
but hiding our individual urges to get in his face,.
We did one more song Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run", just for the irony. Which they didn't get.
We hadn't thought he was serious, just drunk a bit.

Well starting the next song he comes up and rants for us to leave.
"I'll pay you, just go."

Well that was the last straw,
he'd made it seem HE alone had hired us,
we found later it was a group of 6-8 who had hired us.
But no one else wanted to confront him.

We packed up and quietly started leaving.
he comes back to rant about his drunken wife crying on acount of us,
and about how Thailand isn't like in the brochures they saw etc.

Steve, my studio builder / contractor, had come for th 4th time that week to see the band,
he was clearly our friend, and is not a small guy either.
This wingnut approached him and blurts out, "
You're their manager, you get out too!"

Well he almost lost some teeth on that one.. RUDE beyond words,
and totally inacurate too. Steve thought of not embarassing
the band and did nothing,
just turned and walked away.

He almost reached out and grabbed my lady Cha Cha's arm to move her along too,
that would have been VERY bad... oh yes,
but he never actually touched her.

So we left, and appartently he ranted on about everything.
His cabana, the people running it, the pretty little seaside club,
the whole island, the whole country,
the rude uncooperative band,
and every Thai person had ever met.

Good thing he hadn't mention The King...
2 guys would have been over the bar and on him,
if he had gone that far, they rightly LOVE their king here.

Now we are not a jukebox,
you can't shove a quarter up our rear's
and get your favorite songs instantly,
don't know many bands like this at all.

We took the money and got home early.
Had a smoke and chilled doing a post mortem.

Next night we played a very upscale classy wedding,
for 15 times the money...
for around 15 people, who also let us bring ANY of our friends we liked.
Tons of food and drink, an tons of requsts we couldn't fill,
but everybody said OK,
and accepted what we did,
which included many requests too.

We let some get up and try singing Volare, NY NY etc.
and generally made every one have as good a time as possible.
Informal, but fun.

And a great antidote for the pinhead from the night before.

We will try most anything if we have a CLUE about it,
little fear of falling down on stage for us.
But you don't know it, ya just don't know it, plain and simple.

Some people are just too self-centered and arrogant to understand much;
like that you must LEARN a song or KNOW a song to play it.

But offer them the mic to shut them up / or at least let them have their song.
Yeah they know ALL the words,
but have no clue on melody, and won't DARE try...

Likie Rolling Stone reviewers,
All Hat No Cattle.
But the BIGGEST critics of what you work so hard to do.

[This message was edited by David L. Donald on 30 March 2006 at 05:20 AM.]

Larry Bell · From: Englewood, Florida

That's what I like about being A SIDEMAN

I just smile a lot and when anyone wants to dish out questions or grief, I just point to the band leader / frontman.

It's worked for me for decades. I'll talk to those who want to be civilized but don't hear a word the others say. Keeps my blood pressure under control.

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Larry Bell - email: larry@larrybell.org - gigs - Home Page
2003 Fessenden S/D-12 8x8, 1969 Emmons S/D-12 6x6, 1984 Sho-Bud S/D-12 7x6, 1971 Dobro, Standel and Peavey Amps

Ian Finlay · From: Kenton, UK

We had one idiot at a gig who kept coming up to our singer and trying to get her attention mid-song... finally she turned to us and motioned us to stop. We just stopped dead, mid song. She said to this guy "so what exactly do you want?". He kind of mumbled, then slunk away to have the p*ss properly takes by the rest of the crowd. We carried on, no more problems. Except that we couldn't play or sing for laughing

Ian

Paul Wade · From: mundelein,ill

i just tell them if you can play this 20 string guitar better than me have at it!!!

p.w

Bill Ford · From: Graniteville SC Aiken

Paul,
The problem with that, most people (drunks) think it's a keyboard.

Bill

Ray Minich · From: Bradford, Pa. Frozen Tundra

A mosquito buzzing in your ear generates something like 14 femtowatts. That is 14 x 10^-9 or 0.000000014 watts. It's still darn annoying.

Lloyd Potter · From: Preston Hollow,New York, USA

I start out the night telling the audience that we do requests. Just print them on the back of a $50 bill and we will play them if we know them or not. That stops alot of B S

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David L. Donald · From: Koh Samui Island, Thailand

I often say
" We take audience requests...
but we don't always play them..."

"We will more lilkely play something
if you ask for an artist, like Dylan for instance,
but no guaranties either."

This USUALLY cuts them off at the past.

Mike Perlowin · From: Los Angeles CA

I once received a request to "Please play that song. You know which one I mean. It's the one they play on the radio."

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My web site

Bruce Wutzke · From: Marion, Iowa

I'll bring a list you to you next time Kirk!
That'll cut down on my trips up to the stage.
Seriously though, in Texas our leader hung a rope on one of the mike stands for intimidation. It works too 'cause at first I thought it was for me......

Mark Kelchen · From: Cedar Rapids, Iowa USA

Sounds like some of the patrons @ Walford were bit@#$ng again.

No matter what you do there, someone os going to complain. Maybe it has to do with improperly fit hearing aids or perhaps low batteries in them. Maybe a Duracell display would help. At least when they see that, they would forget what their original complaint was. Maybe just a bad hair day for those that still have hair.

Over the years, the folks that have followed the Dighton bands have been religous followers and no matter how much they complain at times, they still keep coming back. That speaks pretty loud in itself. Those folks like what you are doing and one shouldn't get discouraged becuse of one or two bad seeds in the apple.

Pug Steufen always used to tell then there is another band down the street if they are so un-happy here. Hell, I've even watched old Pug give then a personal escort to the door on occasion. hehehehe

Only point here is, Keep up the good work and don't let them get to ya! Perhaps an occasional ZZ Top or Frank Zappa tune could change their tones. hehhehe

Take care and keep um dancing!

David L. Donald · From: Koh Samui Island, Thailand

I always thought bands should have
a 350 lb Hells Angel sitting near them at a table marked ;

"Band Requests and Complaints Dept."

Kirk P Dighton · From: Troy Mills, Iowa

Aggghhhhh, you remember that don't you Mark.

I told the guys that night that I was starting to feel like I did 20 years ago and considering diving off the stage and kicking his tail.......but, can't do that I guess. We just played harder and louder and the dance floor stayed full. Later

James Cann · From: Phoenix, AZ

This topic always brings me back to my high school days, when I appeared in the first rock and roll band to perform in the town, no less (all Ventures stuff, of course!).

Well, there they were, right in front of the stage: those of the 'in crowd,' very good at excluding others from their ranks and heckling anyone on a stage, but nothing else.

And, sure enough, the heckling began even before the countoff sticks (which we didn't do back then), and while others were dancing and enjoying everything, they could do no more than scoff throughout the show.

Later, in discussing this with Mom, her words were sharp, direct, and wise:

"Get this, Jim. Each one of them would give their eye teeth to be up on the stage doing what you did. Don't ever let crap like that keep you from doing what you can do."

Still true today, I believe.

PS: I love ya, Mom.

Gary Atkinson · From: Arkansas, USA

We were playing a lounge a couple of months ago with three pieces when lady came up on the bandstand and asked ''do you guys play any karoke? I said ma'am we'er a live band. she said I know that but you can play karoke can't you? So we let her sing a song with us and she was happy. Go figger. Some people don't understand the concept of the word karoke.

Bill McRoberts · From: Janesville, Wisconsin USA

I Guess this thing eventually happens to most musicians.

Ditto on the "Keyboard" thing. I've actually had a guy come up and ask "what the heck is that thing? a Zither or a Harpsicord? Another guy came up and said "you need to turn your ding-ding down a bit... Seriously.

What gets me is just when you start to tune, somebody will come up and try to start a conversation.

And last but not least is the "drunk chick" that requests "Brown Eyed Girl" or "PLAY SOMTHING WE CAN DANCE TO!" when all she has been doing all night is the "Trog" or
"Watusi" or something.

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