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Topic: End Of World - new date: Sept. 13th |
Jeff Agnew
From:
Dallas, TX
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 5:39 am |
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Fundamentalists have been predicting a cataclysmic event this week that will signal the End Times. It was supposed to occur today (wait, I'll check: nope, not yet...) and be triggered by a nuclear explosion in Korea or Pakistan.
They were wrong.
I have, in fact, found the actual sign of the End Times. An event so horrible it defies comprehension. So insidious even Bin Laden couldn't comprehend it. The kind of thing that makes stabbing your eye with an ice pick seem like sweet relief. Read on if you have a strong stomach. Please send the children out of the room first. Let them live their few remaining days in ignorant bliss.
quote:
No one would argue that Earl Scruggs has defined the bluegrass banjo-picking style of our time. He is now 82 years of age. To honor him, we’re hosting A Tribute To Earl Scruggs, a Guinness World Record-setting event. We plan to bring together the most number of banjo players assembled at one location to play the same song at the same time. The chosen song is Foggy Mountain Breakdown, theme song for the major motion picture Bonnie and Clyde, written by Earl Scruggs.
Only those who can demonstrate the ability to play the song Foggy Mountain Breakdown for 5 minutes will be counted toward the Guinness World Record. The tempo will be 120 beats per minute, and we'll play in the key of G. If any 5-string players prefer to play chords or "vamp," even with a flatpick, they are welcome to. We have invited 4-string and 6-string banjo players to join us, and they'll play chords with a flatpick. All will count toward the Guinness World Record, as long as the player can demonstrate proficiency. We'll stand together on the field in small teams, according to the type of instrument played and the style of play.
I am not making this up.
Five freaking minutes?
[This message was edited by Jeff Agnew on 23 August 2006 at 06:39 AM.] |
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Dave Mudgett
From:
Central Pennsylvania and Gallatin, Tennessee
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 6:07 am
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Ha! Where do I sign up?  |
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Mike Shefrin
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 6:32 am
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b0b's worst nightmare...
(alien banjo spaceships)[This message was edited by Mike Shefrin on 23 August 2006 at 10:54 AM.] |
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Gary Lee Gimble
From:
Fredericksburg, VA.
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 7:12 am
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Yep, banjo started here:
Evolved here:
And finally, a night cap enjoyed here:
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David Mason
From:
Cambridge, MD, USA
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 7:15 am
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| It was so nice of him to write a song especially for a nice film like that. It was also nice for that Hendrix fellow to write that Star-Spinkled thing back when the Budweiser folks ran out of theme songs in 1995 or so. |
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Jack Therrell
From:
Conroe, Texas, USA
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 7:31 am
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| Mike: U made my day by posting Bobby Lee nightmare. Banjos, Banjos everywhere and no one to play them. Jack |
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Joey Ace
From:
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 7:43 am
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hmmmmm...
All the banjo players will be gathered in one stadium at the same time.......
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b0b
From:
Cloverdale, CA, USA
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 8:25 am
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Perfect opportunity for a suicide bomber. Believe me, I'm tempted!  |
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Roger Rettig
From:
Naples, FL
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 9:51 am
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Hey, Gary Lee Gimble!
Do you call that second picture an 'evolution'?
Looks like a substantial step backwards to me....
b0b - you can count me in!!!!
RR |
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Gary Lee Gimble
From:
Fredericksburg, VA.
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 10:09 am
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| Agnew, look at the mess you started. Bush signed an order to activate some inactive's and being I'm only a stones throw from the White House, I'm gonna get back at cha? Yep, I think I can pursued the powers to be to call you and Bill Emerson back to duty. Even if its for a week or so, long enough so you have carry Bill's banjo case. A computer glitch will be arranged to insure your eligibility, Bill's too. Anchors away son!!! [This message was edited by Gary Lee Gimble on 23 August 2006 at 11:10 AM.] |
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Dave White
From:
Fullerton, California USA
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Posted 23 Aug 2006 8:48 pm
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| From the book of Revelations of the Apostle John: "And I beheld a rider on a pale horse, riding from the north, clothed in dark rainment and playing a banjo. And power was given unto him to torment the nations for five months, causing men to pray for death, but death eluded them." |
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Jack Therrell
From:
Conroe, Texas, USA
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Posted 24 Aug 2006 9:30 am
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| Dave: What is even worst the banjo was not even in tune. Apparently Bobby Lee had done something to the tuners. Jack |
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Michael Johnstone
From:
Sylmar,Ca. USA
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Posted 24 Aug 2006 7:21 pm
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| I can't wait for the end of the world! It should be interesting to watch on TV and I'll have a little peace and quiet for a change. |
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Jeff Agnew
From:
Dallas, TX
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 3:10 am
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Methinks thou doth protest too much, Gary Lee.
I'm afraid I'm over the age limit for a reserve call up now. Even the new, upwards-adjusted age limit. You, on the other hand... Think what that horrid beast of yours could do when directed at a group of dug-in terrorists. Let's just say ol' OBL wouldn't still be hiding in a cave. I vote we send GLG and his 5-string to Tora Bora to smoke out the bad guys. Who's with me?
And seriously? On my best day I couldn't carry Bill Emerson's case. |
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Erv Niehaus
From:
Litchfield, MN, USA
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 5:44 am
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According to the article, the banjo players will be outstanding in their field.
And, I agree, that's where they should stay!
Outstanding in their field.  [This message was edited by Erv Niehaus on 25 August 2006 at 06:45 AM.] |
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Roger Rettig
From:
Naples, FL
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 6:01 am
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We don't want any loss of life here, so they should all leave their banjos at the venue and go back home - then the site could be filled in and a massive land-fill created.
I just haven't figured out what future generations might do with the real estate - what purpose could this poisoned landscape be safely put to?
Any ideas? |
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Ray Minich
From:
Bradford, Pa. Frozen Tundra
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 6:54 am
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| Where is Slim Whitman when we need him...? |
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David L. Donald
From:
Koh Samui Island, Thailand
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 7:23 am
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End Of The World.
And caused by BANJO's...
Skeeter Davis wouldn't have liked that,
she LIKED banjos.
The end of the world...
maybe I'll wait for the movie,
then I can see the end credits an find out
who did the SFX. |
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Gary Lee Gimble
From:
Fredericksburg, VA.
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Ray Minich
From:
Bradford, Pa. Frozen Tundra
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 12:12 pm
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| You mean Skeeter Davis was wrong??? |
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David Mason
From:
Cambridge, MD, USA
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 12:25 pm
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ANAGRAMS FOR "BANJO PLAYER":
Anal Prey-Job
Ear Jab, ply on
Joy! Barn Leap!
Enjoy Lap Bar!
ANAGRAMS FOR "GOOD BANJO PLAYER":
Lapboard Joy, Gone...
Polar Bondage? Joy!
Jalopy, and Goober
Bloody Jape? Groan....  |
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Gary Lee Gimble
From:
Fredericksburg, VA.
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Posted 25 Aug 2006 12:58 pm
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| David M., your application has been accepted. You may carry my banjo case. |
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Doug Beaumier
From:
Northampton, MA
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