Observations about bands from a guitarist

Karlis Abolins · From: (near) Seattle, WA, USA

A friend of mine e-mailed me these observations about bands from a fellow named Mike F. In light of the other threads on this topic, it offers a different but not inconsistent view of bands and their personnel.

Karlis

Like a lot of AGAers, I’ve had my share of band experiences over the years. Almost 35 years of playing in working bands has revealed what I consider to be a few Universal Truths for your consideration and discussion. Feel free to add your own.
1- Great bands are built around great vocals. Nobody sings along with the guitar solo.
2- If you don’t have a first rate bass player, your band will never rise above the mediocre.
3- The best all around guitar amp for gigging is the Fender AB763 Deluxe Reverb.
4- Great guitar players are a dime a dozen. If you don’t sing, you don’t get a lot of work. (see #1)
5- The typical consumer of live music does not appreciate your skill as a musician. They are mainly interested in dancing and/or singing along with the vocalist. (see #1)
6- Drummers are terrible time keepers. The job of keeping time in a band belongs to the bass player. (see #2)
7- The person who books the most gigs is almost always the weakest player in the band.
8- You should never play for “the door” or “exposure”. By doing so, you’re lowering the value of your product. The only exception would be a legitimate charity event that you enthusiastically support.
9- Karaoke is the worst thing to ever happen to live music.
10- Never let an unknown club patron sit in with the band.
11- Bands with a female singer usually break up within the first year.
12- You can cover any gig with a Fender Stratocaster and/or a Gibson ES-335. (see also #3)
13- Club owners don’t care how great your band is. They only care how many buddies you have that drink beer.
14- “Pay to Play” is for 14 year olds. (see # Cool

15- Bands with more than 4 members are usually a pain in the ass.
16- A large percentage of gigging musicians are alcoholics, recovered alcoholics, or pot heads. Especially drummers, in my experience. (see #6)
17- 100 watt amplifiers are as useful as tits on a bull unless you’re playing outdoors. (see #3, and always have a spare SM-57 and cable in your gig bag.)
18- If it takes more than two trips to the car, you’re bringing too much gear to the gig.
19- Pay attention to your personal appearance.
20- If it’s not fun, it’s time to move on. You’re better off staying home than bringing your bandmates down with a lousy attitude.
21- Bands that are run as a “democracy” almost always self destruct.
Somebody has to take charge.
22- Always help load the P/A in and out.
23- If you book the gig, be prepared to pay the other musicians at the end of the night. If you get a check, they get a check. If you get cash, they get cash.
24- Horn players are usually prima-donnas with less than perfect pitch.
25- At least once a month, hand your wife the cash from the gig. Winking

David L. Donald · From: Koh Samui Island, Thailand

At least there's one cat who understands the bass players importance.

So many drummers have been the bain of my existance.
Especially in the studio.

I have a drummer now, who is also an excelent horn player, plays on pitch too, and he is no primadona either, but that is so totally rare.
But I still lay down the bass groove, because he can add more color on drums then. Again rare.

If your band mates are bringing you down with their bad attitudes, it is also time to move on. No matter how well they sing.

Michael Haselman · From: St. Paul

And, from the great Will Ray, keep a proper balance of the 3 F's--fun, fame, and fortune.

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Marrs D-10, Webb 6-14E

Andy Greatrix · From: Edmonton Alberta

Generalizing leads to stereotyping.
There are varying degrees of skill
among musicians, regardless of what instrument they play. I don't buy the
one-size-fits-all theory.

Gene Jones · From: Oklahoma City, OK USA, (deceased)

I find little to disagree with in the list above. This one in particular stands out in light of the recent passing of one of our steel-guitar icons, Bob White:

" 10-Never let an unknown club patron sit in with the band."

Bob believed that because as he often said, "They might play bad and people might think it was me!"

www.genejones.com

[This message was edited by Gene Jones on 03 December 2003 at 09:29 AM.]

Mike Perlowin · From: Los Angeles CA

Bobby Lee · From: Cloverdale, California, USA

Joe Wright no longer plays with Charlie Pride!

Jim Cohen · From: Philadelphia, PA

... and you think that was cuz he 'sang' too much, huh?

John Floyd · From: R.I.P.

I don't sing because there are enough bad singers in this world already and I don't want to add strength to their numbers.

I thought that I had worked for all the bad Singers until I discovered Karaoke.

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[This message was edited by John Floyd on 03 December 2003 at 01:16 PM.]

Eric West · From: Portland, Oregon, USA, R.I.P.

I Like a lot of the points.

# 5. No kidding. You can do Take 5, Autumn Leaves, Raisin the Dickens or Kicks to Boot, but if you don't play the "electric slide" or "the watermelon crawl" they're "RIGHT in your face".

#6. No. It's the person with the strongest will, coupled with a good rythym sense.

#7. Not always, but in more cases than one I've realised that "we" couldn't fire or kill the worst member because of that reason.

# 8 is the MOST important, and seemingly the most violated by the upper tier of players. Union Members at that.

Shriners and MDA events ARE exceptions.

#9. No it was the severe intolerance of driving and drinking. Karoke is #2.

#11 Unless they're gay. (And there's NOTHING wrong with that..)

#12 I haven't seen a gig that couldn't be covered with a Tele in the right hands thru a Blackface and a 57.

#13. Righto

#14. Yup. Only too easy too be "In Denial" about that one. Covered is "chipping in" on "Demo Recording", Buying PA gear that you won't own, not demanding pay for "double booked gigs", and unpaid rehearsals.

#19. WAY out there. The most common way that players "make a statement about their dissatisfaction with a bad gig" only guarantees that they will have more of them.

#23. If you don't want people complaining about your being flaky, make sure you don't have to ask them to "hold the check", even if it has to go on a VISA extension.

#25. Turn it ALL over to her. Use your bank card and grab the statements before the motel bills get read.

Food for thought anyhow Good Post.

EJL

[This message was edited by Eric West on 03 December 2003 at 03:56 PM.]

Jesse Pearson · From: San Diego , CA

I don't get #8? I think the reason alot bands don't make that much for a single night is that their not getting the door and a percetage of the bar. Building a following and getting the door is where the real money is for your average club band. I remember the days of having the band make up to $2800 for one weekend night because a large place would get packed and we got the door and a little of the bar. Bands here in So. Cal get ripped by clubs all the time anymore, it's just abunch of BS. It sucks that I can make more money downtown on the street than playing in most bar bands around here.

Eric West · From: Portland, Oregon, USA, R.I.P.

I think he meant "Only" and meaning no minimum.

EJL

Kevin Hatton · From: Buffalo, N.Y.

The one about the bass player is so true. If you don't have good bass and drums it doesn't matter what you put on top of it. Bass and drums can make or break a band.

seldomfed · From: Colorado

I thought about this list last night and a lot of it is true - to a degree. But of course nothing is absolute. The ones I might disagree with are.....

1- "Great bands are built around great vocals."

I'd say great bands are built around great musicians, with a common vision. Vocals only being a part of the whole. What about Big Bands, good jazz groups etc. There are great instrumental bands! Personally, I never hear the words someone is singing until after 4-5 listens anyway - I just hear the melody - wierd I know. Perhaps because there are very few exceptional and unique vocalists, or memorable melodies anymore. Just melismatic warbling over monotonus quantized groves.

2- "If you don’t have a first rate bass player, your band will never rise above the mediocre."

I think you're only as good as your weakest link. I could get by with a 'good' bass player if he could simply match the kick drum, not try and be a lead player, and play within the style of the music. Unless you're Future Man, just stick with the groove and keep it simple.

6- "Drummers are terrible time keepers. The job of keeping time in a band belongs to the bass player."

Not true. The job of keeping time belongs to everyone, but primarily rests with BOTH the drummer and the bass player. They need to know how to work together. I've heard more bad bass players than bad drummers.

I'd add to the list;

#x: you're always better if you are from out of town.

#x+1: don't "flash the cash" - never pay your guys in view of anyone not in the band, keep it private. Best after your all loaded out. (else get mugged).

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Chris Kennison
Ft. Collins, Colorado
"There is no spoon"
www.book-em-danno.com

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