Am I mentally ill?

Bill McCloskey · Posted 17 Jan 2024 11:36 am

Man,

It has been quite a few days. Ever feel like you are on a roundabout and can't find the exit? That is the way I've been feeling lately. Unable to let go, and yet knowing if I don't, I'll get nowhere.

I have a Williams D10 9x9 with Paul Franklin's changes. I have two Superslides, one with Reece's C6 and one with an extended Tom Morrell. (I have a lot more: eharps, weissenborns with various tunings). And over the past year, I've had a 12 string ext, a D12, a 12 string D13....

I have a stack of books on E9th, C6th, Eharp, music theory, scale practices. Books on jazz, stacks of sheet music piled up on every table and chair. Surrounded by music.

And i thought: I'll practice them all. I'll learn the same tune on all of them. I'll practice scales on all of them.

And then...it all became overwhelming. I'd go to bed thinking about music, I'd wake up depressed. I stopped practicing. I'd work on C6 lap for a day, then work on something else and lose everything i had learned. And then I felt paralyzed.

I literally felt I was losing my mind. To the point that all i could do was binge watch tv and I couldn't play anything. Everything seemed completely overwhelming. I searched the forum and found an old post by Buddy Emmons in which he said: "if I had to start all over again, I'd go Universal, but not the universal everyone else uses: it would be an E13th tuning." and then he listed great players who never played C6.

I kept saying to myself: focus. You need to focus. but I was unable to focus. I was unable to admit defeat. I was unable to let anything go and as a result I was unable to do anything. I was unable to progress. I was stuck, spinning my wheels. In love with everything, I couldn't love anything.

And then yesterday I had an epiphany. I need to give up C6 completely. I started focusing on E9th. And I realized with my E13th 12 string Superslide, I could also play, with slight adjustments, everything I was also learning on the E9th. and the dam burst.

i played for HOURS. First, working on something in E9th, going to the E13, and replicating it there, back to the E9th, back to the E13th. Time flew. I felt I was finally on the right path.

And now I feel like a weight has been lifted. In a month, I'll be 70. Time is short. I can't do it all. If I am really going to find musical happiness, I realized I'm going to have to focus on E9th pedal steel and E13th lap steel only. Each supports the other.

C6 will have to wait for another lifetime. And do I really need the Franklin pedal? Do I need a D10, fully loaded.

I don't. and I can't. and I won't.

I need one tuning. One i can play on both lap and pedal. I have to unclench my fingers and let the rest go, no matter how cool it looks, no matter how great it sounds. No matter how fun it is...

And everything else has to go.

Pete McAvity · From: St. Louis, Missouri USA

No.
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Excel Superb D10, Sarno Black Box or Freeloader, Goodrich L120, Boss DD5, Baby Bloomer, 1965 Super Reverb chopped to a head, feeding a mystery PA cab w/ a K130.

They say "thats how it goes". I say "that ain't the way it stays!"

Pete McAvity · From: St. Louis, Missouri USA

.....I mean, yes. Possibly.
_________________
Excel Superb D10, Sarno Black Box or Freeloader, Goodrich L120, Boss DD5, Baby Bloomer, 1965 Super Reverb chopped to a head, feeding a mystery PA cab w/ a K130.

They say "thats how it goes". I say "that ain't the way it stays!"

Bill McCloskey · Posted 17 Jan 2024 12:27 pm

Lol. Sounds right.

J D Sauser · From: Wellington, Florida

Tom Campbell · From: Houston, Texas, USA

Been there...I'm now 80yrs (young).

I'm down to one Melbert 8 string lap steel and a S-10 Mullen 4/5. I play my (own) modified tuning. Don't care anymore about how anyone else plays their E9, C6, or what ever.

I have a large library of steel guitar instructional material. It will soon be introduced to the city's bimonthly recycling dumpster. Wow...now there is really "Peace in the Valley)!!!

Ron Pruter · From: Arizona, USA

I can relate. When I was young(50 years ago) I moved to Nashville. I was a guitar player, drummer, bassist, fiddle player, steel guitarist. I had a recording contract as a one man band. Then all of a sudden I fell in love with the five string banjo. I headed down that path until it hit me. Wouldn't it be better to be really good at just one thing. I started devoteing all my energy to guitar. I became a very good and versitile guitarist. Sad part is about 40 years after that decision, arthritis affected my hands so adversely, that I had to give up guitar. They were very sad times. BUT- The pedal steel came to the rescue. Very Happy

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Emmons SKH Le Grande, '73 Fender P/J bass, Tick tack bass, Regal high strung, USA Nashville 112.

Doug Paluch · From: Michigan, USA

Had I just focused on smaller goals early on (with 6 string), I am fairly certain I would far more proficient than I currently am. I was in such a rush to get "good," I skipped a lot of steps along the way, and was always jumping from one thing to the next. I never achieved what I was shooting for. Now, six string for me has all kids of mental blocks, and I always default to the same flaws/ setbacks.

I have worked differently with pedal steel. I focus on one thing, and I don't set a timetable for completion, but rather I focus on mastery of what I am working on. It is far more satisfying.

Steve Lipsey · From: Portland, Oregon, USA

Bill-
As you get older, you move from "how many things can I do in a day" to "How many days does it take to do a thing"....and cutting back to focus on fewer things has saved me. I actually sold all the other instruments so that I wouldn't even hear them calling "Play me!"...I even took 6 years off from pedal steel...as Jerry Garcia said, "It is just too complicated"....but I came back, focused only on that and now I'm a better player than I ever was....
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https://www.lostsailorspdx.com
Williams S10s, Milkman Pedal Steel Mini & "The Amp"
Ben Bonham Resos, 1954 Oahu Diana, 1936 Oahu Parlor

Len Amaral · From: Rehoboth,MA 02769

Um, just turned 75 and I'm still living the dream. I am not organized and at times have no idea what I'm doing. Keep going forward and evolve and have some fun along with the frustration.
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I survived the sixties!

Joe Krumel · From: Hermitage, Tn.

Hope you get it worked out.

scott murray · From: Asheville, NC

it does help to focus on one tuning at a time, certainly when getting started on pedal steel. it's easy to get overwhelmed by both necks. the E9 is what drew me to the instrument but over time C6 captured my attention more and more. I still play both but C6 is where I spend most of my time these days
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1965 Emmons S-10, 3x5 • Emmons LLIII D-10, 10x12 • JCH D-10, 10x12 • Beard MA-8 • Oahu Tonemaster

J D Sauser · From: Wellington, Florida

Tim Toberer · From: Nebraska, USA

I can relate! I was at a point where I wasn't sure I wanted to continue steel guitar, because I just became overwhelmed. I had gotten into it because I wanted to learn swing and jazz and just couldn't get there on guitar. After a year or so on lap steel, I realized I was just noodling around all the time and constantly changing tunings. No new book was going to help me.

I made the jump to pedal steel and I am on a much better path now. I have one guitar that I play with one tuning that is capable of all the chords I want. I also realized quickly that 8 strings are enough for me. I am nowhere near where I want to be but I am progressing finally! The nice thing about steel guitar is you can create the tuning that compliments the way you think and play. It is the most organic instrument and glad I stuck with it.

Dave Grafe · From: Hudson River Valley NY

You are fine Bill, but here's the thing: Research into human learning has conclusively proven that the most effective environment for human development is a sense of fun, i.e. playtime. This by a factor of 8 or 10 times more effective. Obviously basic motor skills and muscular development respond to rudimentary repetition, but the absorption of new material happens best when we are in a playful, creative mode.

If you're not having fun do what you feel like and let that be enough. Playing the steel guitar is highly challenging, intimidating even, on so many levels, there is a lifetime's store of discovery and more. We ALL flirt with discouragement along the way, but in true fact nobody is judging us but ourselves.
Do what you want to, no more and no less, there is no "fail" in it.

Scott Denniston · From: Hahns Peak, Colorado, USA

I'm not as accomplished an E9 player as a lot of what I hear but I've played it so long that it's ok to set it aside for awhile so I can concentrate on the 6. I know the feeling of having stacks of material and courses I know I'll never get to. I've been taking baby steps with the C6 and am to the point I can finally enjoy practicing on it. Paul's course and BIAB have helped a ton. I used to be frustrated with BIAB and the 422 page manual and the fact that when I'd try and add real tracks I never owned the appropriate style or whatever. So now I've upgraded to the Ultra Pak (for $169 from 2019 Pro) and that makes a world of difference. I only need the basics of the software so it's unnecessary to learn the whole dang program. Anyway my attitude has changed from frustration to enjoyment. Sometimes while I'm practicing something hard on C6 I'll flip the switch to E9 and just play for a while. Take a break. I wouldn't want to let go of either one at this point but just have to guard against the depressing frustration and be happy with baby steps. I was once told by a very accomplished jazz picker that the depressing frustration never goes away no matter how good you get. There's always something you want to get to but it's on the other side of the hill. Relax and enjoy it!

Greg Cutshaw · From: Corry, PA, USA

It's been said a lot recently but D13 covers all of E9th, C6 and most of the non-pedal stuff. Stick with that and work on technique and muscle memory for the new grips. The bar slants for non-pedal are not as clean sounding due to the string spacing but they work ok.

Pete McAvity · From: St. Louis, Missouri USA

I'm back to "yes" again. I'm 53 & hope to exhibit similar symptoms when I'm 80. For serious. Been following the journeys of a lot of guys here for years & gleaned a lot of invaluable advice. Hoping to be doing this for another 30-40 years & confident I'll never master the instrument.
_________________
Excel Superb D10, Sarno Black Box or Freeloader, Goodrich L120, Boss DD5, Baby Bloomer, 1965 Super Reverb chopped to a head, feeding a mystery PA cab w/ a K130.

They say "thats how it goes". I say "that ain't the way it stays!"

J D Sauser · From: Wellington, Florida

Gil James · From: Louisiana, USA

I've played regular 6 string guitar for 50 years and never once thought about different tunings. I just played what was needed/wanted at the time and it came. Peace,joy,happiness...music. Four years in on steel guitar,6,8,10 strings,pedals.....tunings? Rabbit holes...miles of em. I dont have enough time to explore em all,and I've been trying. Though the process has sharpened my mind and reflexes like never before,it became confusing just to make music. Like many of you,I've gone back to the basics,the core tunings that started it all many years ago is where I'll stay.Open A for lap,E9 for pedal, G for Dobro. Peace,joy,happiness....music!

Rich Peterson · From: Moorhead, MN

Brooks Montgomery · From: Idaho, USA

Bill, guitars and tunings are like cocaine
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A banjo, like a pet monkey, seems like a good idea at first.

Dave Mudgett · From: Central Pennsylvania and Gallatin, Tennessee

Bill, you're not crazy. Er ... not any more crazy than the rest of us, anyway.

I play and have played a bunch of different instruments, at various levels. Piano for 8 years growing up - I was fairly serious for a kid. Then at age 14, guitar. Have played guitar at various levels of intensity ever since. No doubt I always will unless something catastrophic happens and I can't anymore. Slide guitar early on, which I got into real seriously again about 10 years ago. I spend a fair amount of of time on it still. Studied bass in college for a while. Music took a back seat while I finished college, spent 5 years in industry, and then started grad school - all that required a ton of focus also. But midway through grad school, I got the guitar bug again big-time. Scruggs style banjo in the 90s. Started E9 pedal steel over 20 years ago, that largely absorbed me for over 10 years. Nonpedal - mostly 6th or 13th tunings except for mimicing slide guitar kind of stuff on the tunings I use for slide guitar, a la David Lindley. I found the 6th/13th tunings have a heart that is similar but with variations around the edges. Even spent a couple of years woodshedding drums about 10 years ago. I'm only recently really trying to get into standard pedal steel C6. The last year, I've been doing once-a-week singer/songwriter things - voice and guitar. I sang but there's no where to hide with just your voice and a guitar. I know tons of people do it, but I've always been a band guy.

But on every one of these ventures, I had to really focus, focus, focus, and focus more on just one thing for a reasonable period of time to really get anywhere. On some things, I think I made pretty good progress. On others, I sort of lost interest after getting a pretty reasonable start. But for me, I think every single one of those efforts helped other aspects of my overall musicianship. Beyond any musical/technique aspects, it gave me better perspective on what band mates were doing and how I could fit in better with them. I view myself now as primarily a guitar, slide guitar, and steel player. But I don't view any of those side-ventures as even the slightest waste of time.

There's always a danger of dilettantism. So for me, flitting back and forth between different things would have been a waste of time. I think the roughly 10,000-hours-to-become-highly-proficient-at-something rule-of-thumb works for me. That's around 5 years at 40 hours/week, 10 years at 20, etc. OK, plus or minus - some things come to me easier than others. And if I spend just a year or two focusing fairly hard - maybe 10-20 hours/week - I think that's enough to tell me if I really want to continue.

And Dave's point about having fun doing things is spot on. I love playing music. Anything that gives me a new, interesting angle gives me a lot of pleasure. Part of this whole thing is voraciously reading everything I can find about what I'm doing, concurrently with practicing it. The last 20 years of reading and writing literally thousands of posts on this forum has been incredibly useful in learning steel guitar, and lots of other musical stuff as well. This level of intensity with music no doubt cut the level of intensity (and commensurate 'success', whatever that means) of my technical career somewhat. But I consider myself very lucky to have been able to do both. Cake and eat it. And I can do whatever I want now, as long as I stay healthy. So I have to fit in daily workouts to keep mind and body clear.

But seriously Bill - try to chill out and just enjoy the ride. I think it makes sense to focus on one or two things at one time, so you're probably on the right path, for now.

Doug Taylor · From: Shelbyville, Kentucky, USA

I’m with you Bill, I am 68 and sort of in the same frame of mind as you. A funny thing happened a few months ago. I have experienced lots of frustration and thought I have played and gigged bass 50 years maybe I should concentrate more on that and I have fallen in love with bass playing again!

I have played less steel lately but have much more enjoyed music!

Roger Rettig · From: Naples, FL

Bill:

Count me as another hopeless case.

Music can (or should) be enjoyed at any level but there are constant challenges. As is the case with many here, advancing age plays a part. Today is one of those days when I can't find the mental energy to accomplish simple musical tasks.

I began by transposing a song from C to Ab ('That's What Friends are For'); not an overly tricky progression, yet even making myself a new chord sheet in Ab seized my brain up, somehow. It's a piece of cake, right? No! Not today.

Go into the music room and sit at the Emmons: I can't find my backside with a flashlight and both hands. It's as though I never played before.

On a good day, I can see both tunings in my mind's eye. Today? I should put one of those cautionary skull-and-cross-bones warning-signs on my guitars.

Thank goodness this isn't a competition! Smile

Seriously, Bill: being overwhelmed is a part of the process.
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Roger Rettig: Emmons D10, B-bender Teles and Martins - and, at last, a Gibson Super 400!
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